Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Journaling Day 3

This week's prompt from Sometimes Sweet:
They say hindsight is 20/20, and with good reason- looking back at something always gives us a better view. We're often able to really see how our choices and decisions then shaped our today, and examine what we would have done differently given the chance. When looking back though, we often look way back, but for this exercise stay a little closer to present time and look back just 12 months. If you could go back just one year, what would you tell yourself? What advice would you offer about everything you've experienced?
At first I was thinking that I do not have anything that I would change but that is a lie. Despite how beautiful my wedding was, and how much I loved my dress I wish we would have eloped. I knew going into my wedding that it was going to be drama filled but I didn't realize that it would still be such a big deal 1 year later. My two mother-in-laws do not get along, I do not speak to my birth mother so that right there makes for an adventure.

I was offered by my parents so many times that they would give us the money they were going to spend on the wedding and we could elope and avoid all drama. I am still kicking myself for turning that down. From the panic attacks I had from dress shopping causing me to get on anxiety pills, to the massive anxiety attacks I had on my wedding day.

Things are still not right with Josh's step-mom and us since the wedding. We are pleasant to each other, but you can tell we are not her favorites right now, but we were before the wedding planning started and she and I had different visions of MY wedding.

Hopefully if we would have eloped this drama would be gone, I might not be on my pills or know why I am always sick but the tension at family functions would be gone.

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